Times Like This – Matthew K Mayes Original 2021

What is enjoyment? Something that gives you joy.

What is joy? Getting what you want.

How can you have joy if you want nothing?

Pleasure – to get what pleases you.

To get what aligns with your complexes. When things go agreeably for you. To feel safe. To be able to predict life. No one likes to stumble or hit an obstacle.

what about surprises? adventure and novelty? These are also getting what you want and getting what you expect. a sunset is something you like, and you have seen them before and you know what they are, and its no shock to see one, it’s just a gift.

A surprise jolt of lightning is exciting and stimulating but it’s not a gift. It’s horrifying if its close by. afterwards, you might feel glad you didn’t get struck.

finishing something. there is little joy in that alone. it leaves one with emptiness and less purpose, and less to do. it’s more meaningful to be building a boat than to own a boat. sailing a boat, that’s more meaningful than owning a boat that has sailed. ownership means what? to have potential to build, or to have a space to meditate. we don’t need to own the earth to simply meditate. we must own tools to build things we need, if we indeed need them. we could just meditate and beg for food and money. if we have no shame, why not?

what do we enjoy doing? following impulses and compulsions with the will of our minds. what if we run out of things to will? then we just sit, and wait.

something which brought joy and inspiration can bring sorrow if it has become so that such a thing has proven to result in something other than what was intended, and has shown you that you can’t do what you intend, and you can’t have what you set out to have. so then, you stop setting out to have or do or want anything.

what if I am motivated to stay just above the threshold of what I must do to avoid falling into pure misery? what’s wrong with that? Isn’t this just having what I need, and nothing more? Isn’t having more than this just madness and delusion?